Have you ever successfully worked with a purchasing specialist? What worked for you, and what didn’t? I’d love to hear from you – leave me a comment!

Smart Selling is a series of video tips where Jill Harrington, President of SalesSHIFT, answers your BIG HAIRY sales questions in less than four minutes. To be notified of new videos in this series, click here. If you have a question you’d like Jill to answer, let us know!

How have you successfully handled the challenge of “no need”? What’s working and not working for you today? I’d love to hear from you – leave me a comment!

Smart Selling is a series of video tips where Jill Harrington, President of SalesSHIFT, answers your BIG HAIRY sales questions in less than four minutes. To be notified of new videos in this series, click here. If you have a question you’d like Jill to answer, let us know!

Buyers are human beings. And human beings are individual, imperfect and unpredictable. Which means all of the science – your strategy, process and logical thinking – can be seriously derailed if you fail to prepare for the human factor – the art.

So I’d like to end 2011 by sharing five “human enigmas” that cause even the most talented sales pros to stumble – and provide a little of the art to prevent this happening to you.

No two people share the same perspective I bet you’ve all encountered these buyers… the customer who doesn’t appreciate the true value of your product. The purchasing specialist who believes you can buy business services the same way you purchase paperclips. Or the prospect who thinks she’s saving money by doing everything in-house when you know she’d save a heck of a lot more if she’d outsource to the expert.

And what do you do? Try to educate her of course! Bring this misguided soul over to your way of thinking. Convince her to see the error of her way. Only this doesn’t work. The only way to have another human being share your viewpoint is by positioning it in context of hers. Which means sales pros must be curious. Willingly open your mind to “understand” conflicting perspectives – even when you disagree.

Human beings say one thing – and do the other.Do you see red when a customer talks endlessly about the importance of quality, and then buys from the lowest-cost provider? There is often a huge divide between what customers say they want, and how they make their final buying decision. The result? Sellers are blindsided.

Customers don’t always know what they want. Which means you can’t take everything at face value. Ask deep clarifying questions. Listen to the implications of your customer’s answers. Talk to multiple decision influencers who may hold differing opinions. Notice what isn’t being said, and be prepared to ask tough questions. If your customer struggles to articulate a compelling reason as to why they‘d willingly pay more for your service, then they don’t have one. And guess what? It’s not going to happen.

Human beings, under pressure, seek the easy route. How many times have you been told you’ve lost the bid because “your price is higher than the competition.” It’s the easiest and kindest way for a buyer to say, “You missed the mark.” And it’s probably the most comfortable reason to share with the boss. But it’s rarely the full, or accurate, story. So give your ego a vacation and take time to find out if price is the core issue. And always ask, “What else?” Because there will be more. I speak from experience when I say the “what else” can hurt. But the greatest learning of my sales career came from never accepting the easy route and always pushing for the hard facts.

Human beings crave commonality.I’m British and I live in Canada. And when I meet a fellow Brit for the first time … within minutes “we’ve known each other since birth.” People build stronger faster relationships when they have something in common. So rather than waiting, or hoping, to discover your commonality, get proactive. In your pre-call research use all of the technologies and resources at your finger tips to seek out opportunities to demonstrate it. What do you and this specific buyer have in common? It may be personal – you went to the same university. It may be business – both of you work for companies with aggressive growth targets. It may relate to values – you’re both passionate about the success of others. Then plan how you will integrate this into your first conversation.

The people who most need you are least likely to buy from you. I recently shared this statement with a marketing guru. His response? This should be engraved on a gold plaque and hung in every sales office.
I discovered this human enigma the hard way. I opened my business thinking the fastest route to riches was to fix the broken sales teams in the world. I soon realized that these sales teams were failing for one simple reason. They don’t invest in continuous improvement. So I took a screeching U-turn on my strategy and started talking to successful sales teams. As soon as I stopped talking to the sales leaders who needed me most, and started connecting with visionary sales leaders who invested heavily in their people, my business took off.

So my simple message to all of you … Stop thinking like a sales person and start thinking like a human being. Never underestimate the human factor in the sales process. Proactively prepare for it. Because one thing’s certain. While the sales process is consistent and predictable, human beings are not. And no amount of technological advance will change that.

Good selling!

How have you successfully got in front of brand new prospects? What’s working and not working for you today? I’d love to hear from you – leave me a comment!

Smart Selling is a series of video tips where Jill Harrington, President of SalesSHIFT, answers your BIG HAIRY sales questions in less than four minutes. To be notified of new videos in this series, click here. If you have a question you’d like Jill to answer, let us know!

As for the ones who are “hitting the ball out of the park” early in their career, here’s what they have in common…

1. Their quest for knowledge. They understand that “how you sell” has far more impact on sales success that “what you sell.” They continuously invest in their own professional development and view training as an opportunity, not an annoyance keeping them from their customers. They proactively seek mentorship, and reflect on what works and what doesn’t in terms of their own sales approach.

2. Their intent. They are not just focused on closing the sale. Their intent is to contribute to their customer’s success. As a result of this mindset they proactively look for the customers who will benefit from their services. And they do their homework so they can speak intelligently about why this specific customer would benefit from having a sales conversation. The sale – and usually a bigger one – is the output.

3. Their curiosity. They are genuinely curious about the customer and his / her business which means they “know” who they are talking to, and they prepare questions that are valuable to both the customer and the sales pro. They take time to understand what’s important from the customer’s perspective and they listen – to the customer’s words and to the implication of these words. So when they respond, their recommendations are ruthlessly relevant.

If you are relatively new to sales, or are a sales leader with a young team, I’d love to get your thoughts – write a comment below …

Many look at time management as the panacea. Yet, according to renowned neuropsychologist, Dr. Paul Pearsall*, “time management is a waste of time.” You see… it’s not about time, it’s about attention. Pearsall refers to attention as the new business currency and states, “until we learn to manage our attention, all the self-helpism, time management programs in the world will be useless.” And I agree with him.

A myriad distractions vie for our attention on a daily basis. So much so, that we forget we have choice over where we focus that attention. In fact by getting ruthless with our choices we will get more done, and free up time.

Here are seven insights to help you redirect your attention so you get more done in less time.

1. Having goals is not enough.

Everyone knows that goals are integral to getting things done. But did you know that setting goals without identifying the associated critical success factors to achieving these goals leads to time wasted?

Many of you have clear goals. But it’s the overwhelming list of activities you then create to attain these goals that threatens to derail you.

Set your goal. Then identify the few (three or four) things that absolutely must get done if you wish to reach this objective – the handful of activities that are critical to your success. Then ruthlessly devote your attention to executing these few critical success factors and notice how much more efficiently you reach your goals.

2. It’s not about time, it’s about priorities.

You have an ever-growing “To Do” list. Items get added faster than they get crossed off and it’s paralyzing you. Anyone relate? Stop making lists unless you have a prioritization process that enables you to efficiently work through this list.

Designate each item an A, B or C priority based on how critical each activity is to achieving your end goals. Importance trumps urgency. Schedule time for the A priorities immediately (and always allow at least 50% more time than you anticipate). Assign the Bs to another day, and either delegate your Cs to others or move them to your “stop doing” list. For example, an A for me today is working on my business strategy for 2012, a B is a proposal that is due next week, and a C is returning a call to the sales person who has left the same message five times. While the proposal is more urgent than the business strategy, the strategy will help me decide whether this is a proposal I should be writing. You can guess what I’ve done with the C.

3. Stop reacting and start proacting.

Sales people jump at opportunity. Every opportunity. It’s part of our DNA.

But if you seek more time – and bigger results for a smaller investment of your time – then focus your attention on the leads that are both winnable and desirable for your company.

Have a clear target customer profile, against which you filter and prioritize both incoming leads and outgoing calls. When you devote your attention to a lead that is neither winnable not desirable you are taking time away from a lead that could be your next best client.

4. Schedule your attention.

Schedule quantity and quality of time to focus your attention on the important elements of your job, like call planning, new business development… And when I say “schedule” I mean protect a chunk of time in your calendar as you would a meeting with Mr. Big, your most important customer. Shut your door if you have one, book a boardroom so you have privacy, forewarn your colleagues that between 8.30AM and 10.30AM you will not be responding to e-mails, calls or drop bys.

Uninterrupted time allows you to get more done, because you maintain your attention. I’ve heard that once distracted, it can take up to 40 minutes to fully refocus on the original task. And that’s a wicked waste of time.

5. Check into “Blackberry Rehab.”

The biggest attention sucker in today’s business world is your Blackberry or iPhone. If you believe that checking your e-mail frequently makes you more efficient – think again. The most efficient people look at their e-mail a handful of times each day, manage their customers’ expectations in this regard, and avoid wasting time responding to e-mails that 20 minutes later no longer require their attention.

Now I hear some of you wailing, “But my customers expect me to respond immediately!” Then my question to you is, “Who set the expectation?” Unless you work in a time sensitive (and I mean minute to minute) business like the currency exchange or energy markets – kick the habit.

6. Leverage your peak performance time.

There is a certain time of the day, and certain circumstances, under which we focus and perform at our best. For me it’s early morning. My best ideas come to me in the shower – my husband has suggested I stop showering for a while as I now have more ideas than I can ever hope to execute.

The morning is when I attack my scariest projects. Mid afternoon is when my attention wanes. So that’s when I schedule B priorities or re-energize by interacting with others. If you don’t know when, and how, you are your most productive, start observing your work habits. Don’t fall into the trap of choosing easy over efficient, or comfortable over important, just because it’s the wrong time of day for you.

7. Remember … It’s never about time – it’s always about priorities.

Did I say this already? Well, I’m saying it again because so many salespeople are frustrated with how long it takes to get time with prospects. Or they consider it rude when a prospect won’t return their calls or a customer continuously postpones a meeting.

Remember … attention, time and money flow to priorities. Reality is you’ve failed to get their attention because you, your message, or the agenda of your meeting is not a priority to this individual right now. Getting time with today’s busy buyer takes work. Many sellers don’t devote enough attention to clarifying what’s important to a specific prospect before picking up the phone or sending that e-mail. The end result … time wasted.

Let’s face it. You have no control over time. It moves forward no matter how hard you try to slow it down. We do have control over what we deem a priority. So stop worrying about managing time, and get ruthless on where you focus your attention.

* Paul Pearsall PhD 1942 – 2007

Over the years I have witnessed some frightening selling practices. And I’ve seen them used by sales pros with different levels of experience. It’s not because they’re bad sales reps. For many it’s habit. Some have been taught these “tactics” by well meaning sales dinosaurs. And others simply don’t know better.

I’ve named each of these behaviors. And created, in no particular order, my top ten “Harrington’s Horrors.” If you happen to recognize yourself in the list below then it’s time to create your personal “Stop Doing” list, and to retire each of the horrors that threaten to derail your sales success.

Your Stop Doing List (Harrington’s Horrors)

1. The Stalker

You follow up with your prospects frequently and regularly. Buyers are busy so you’re persistent. But there’s a fine line between persistence and stalking – and you’ve raced past that line. What’s the difference? The intent and content of your messages. The persistent seller has a valid reason for calling, and delivers a message that focuses on what is important to this customer now. The stalker is out to close the deal with a generic “feature and benefit” message that focuses on the seller.

2. The Parrot

As sales leaders put pressure on reps to call higher up the corporate ladder I’ve witnessed the emergence of flocks of parrots – reps mindlessly repeating “big strategic” questions they’re required to pose to executive buyers.

Just one problem… they don’t understand why they’re asking the questions and they don’t know what to do with the answers. The net result is lost credibility and bruised confidence. NEVER call at the executive level if you don’t have a valid reason to be there, or if you don’t have the business acumen to carry an executive-level conversation.

3. The “Sales Cliché”

If you’ve ever been in one of my workshops you know how I feel about this horror. I cringe every time I hear one of these pearls fall from a seller’s mouth. “What keeps you up at night?” “What are your pain points?” Or some other sales training cliché you adopted circa 1990 and forgot to retire from your repertoire. I understand the intent … but PLEASE change the language. What keeps me up at night? My husband’s snoring!

4. The Price Dropper

Everyone has a personal “car purchase” story. It usually involves some reference to the inevitable “this is my best price” game, coupled with the “let me speak with my manager” tactic. Does it feel good? No! It kills any joy in what should be a fun purchase. And it has destroyed the credibility of an entire industry. Yet many sellers are quick to drop prices unnecessarily. Know your value in context of each customer’s priorities so that you can hold you’re pricing in face of lower cost competition. And, if dropping your price makes sense in this instance, re-create the offer to reflect the lower rate, so you don’t reduce your credibility.

5. The Verbal Brochure

You’ve got your standard presentation, a 20-slide PowerPoint deck detailing the history of your company since Adam met Eve, and you drag it out to every new customer meeting. Well, guess what? I don’t care. I’ve been to your website. You sent me your e-brochure. I can read. So if you’re meeting with me, use my precious time to share something of value that’s relevant to me and my business now. Pique my interest so that I want to schedule a second meeting or take a next step with you.

6. The Idiot Creator

“Are you interested in saving time and reducing risk?” Or “If I show you how we’ll save your company $500,000, are you ready to move forward with us today?” The customer would be an idiot to say “no.” Right? WRONG! The only person that looks like an idiot is the seller. Retire these types of cheesy manipulative questions from your sales portfolio now.

7. The Easy Rider

Too many sellers are looking for “easy.”

Some of you mistake easy for efficient. Here’s a news flash for any of you who skimp on preparation for customer meetings because “I’m an intuitive sales person and I know what to say.” And for those of you who give up on a good prospect because “they don’t return my calls after three attempts.” Selling isn’t easy. With the array of competition fighting for the customer’s time and money, you must earn the right to quality time with busy buyers. And that takes effort and discipline.

8. The Lost Lamb

“I’m not sure if you’re the person I should speak to…” or “I’m not sure what you do…” Yes… there are sales reps who still say this! And the buyer’s response? “Do your homework and call me when you do know!” With all the resources available to sellers today, if you’re not prepared to invest time into figuring out what my company does, or who you should talk to, what does that say about the effort you’ll put into supporting my business?

9. The Conversation Killer

Your opening line is killing you. “Hi it’s John Smith from ACME Technologies, have you heard of us?” Or “Hi it’s John Smith from ACME Technologies, I’ll be in your area next week – are you available to meet?” Or “Hi it’s John Smith from ACME Technologies, we sell technology hardware, do you have any current needs?” Never open with a question that solicits a big resounding “no” and leaves you with nowhere to go. Share what you know about this customer that has prompted you to call. And ask a big customer-centric question that opens a dialogue.

10. The Finger Pointer

“Customers only care about price.” “They don’t see the value in our services.” “People are rude – they never return my calls.” “She didn’t take the time to read my full proposal.” I hear these statements from irritated sales pros every week. Prospects aren’t rude – they’re busy. Buyers don’t return calls if you don’t give them a valid reason to. Customers don’t see the value in you, or your proposal, because you failed to connect to their critical priorities.

Stop pointing the finger at the customer. If you want to lay blame at someone’s door – always start closer to home.

Good selling!

The reality is … buyers rarely share the breadth and depth of information you need to build a winning proposal. The onus is on you to draw it out of them.

Savvy sellers know that trying to win a deal with partial information is akin to Tiger Woods expecting to win a golf game with only one club in his golf bag. Depending on who he’s competing against, it’s not impossible, but the odds are stacked heavily against him.

And, if sharing information is critical to buyers getting the right solution, why do customers hold back? The good news is … it’s rarely intentional.

I’ve observed four fundamental reasons for this phenomenon:

1. Buyers make assumptions about how much, and what, you need to know.
2. Buyers are time-starved and may not have fully thought through their issue.
3. Your contact doesn’t have an understanding of the full picture.
4. This buyer doesn’t want to provide you the full picture.

1. Buyers make assumptions.

They provide you – and everyone else – what they believe is “enough” information to enable you to submit a recommendation. But guess what? It’s never enough!

If you’re working with the same information as your competitor your proposal comes dangerously close to looking like theirs. And, if you all look the same – guess what threatens to raise its ugly head as the prime differentiator? PRICE! If you want to get to the 80% that will win you the deal, or be in a position to decide if a deal exists, then you have to work for it. And that means pre-planning important questions and shifting the conversation into territory the customer has neglected to cover.

Territory that is often overlooked, may be sensitive, and that requires forward planning in terms of what you will ask, and how you will ask includes … Current business priorities and how this initiative contributes to, and is perceived in context of, critical strategic objectives … Key stakeholder preferences and interests – there are people formally and informally involved in the process that the client may neglect to mention … The specific conditions and criteria that will decide how, and if, they will move forward – and with whom … Who and, more importantly, what are you competing against – traditional competitors, new forms of competition, or the status quo?

2. Buyers are time-starved.

The buyer may not be the expert on the issue that confronts them. And they don’t have time to think of everything. That’s why they talk to you. But they don’t want sellers who simply spew product features and benefits. They’re looking for an expert to ask valuable customer-centric questions that help them decide “the right path of action,” and not just “the path to your door.”

My favorite personal sales success is the time I met with a client who had just verbally awarded his business to one of my competitors. Talk about bad timing. With no immediate opportunity on the table I took advantage of the meeting to learn more about his business. As I listened I found incongruence between his problem and the solution he had selected. And, with no intent other than curiosity, I asked him, “Given your current acquisition strategy and ultimate goal, why do you believe this to be the right solution?”

He thought about it and started to question his decision. He asked me for input. I provided my thoughts in context of the business priorities he had shared earlier. He liked what he heard and asked for a proposal. This buyer walked away from his previous verbal agreement. And awarded me the contract. I had just earned what was to be one of the most loyal, and enjoyable, business relationships of my entire selling career.

3. Your contact doesn’t have the full picture.

You already know what I’m going to say about this one. “YOU’RE TALKING TO THE WRONG PERSON!” And/or you’re not having the right conversation with ALL of the relevant people.

Organizational decision making has become increasingly complex in recent years with a greater cast of characters playing key roles. Get clear on where the real influence lies. Do it early in the sales process. Identify who has most at stake and who has vital information before you get “locked in” with a go-between or gatekeeper lower on the food chain.

Deepen your understanding of the critical influencers, specifically what’s important to them now, and use this knowledge to give them a reason (from their point of view) to answer your questions directly.

4. The buyer doesn’t want to provide YOU additional information.

It happens. Customers do, on occasion, hold back intentionally.

First find out why. There may be a valid reason that you need to understand – before you decide how to get them to spill the beans.

Often there’s an unspoken cause and, if it’s one of the following, that’s a BIG red flag:

• Lack of trust. They’re not confident that your intent or capability is in their best interest.
• They’re shopping. You’re either the required third bid and there is no intent to hire you; or there’s no legitimate opportunity – they just want ideas.

If you believe this may be the case, don’t even think to proceed without getting straight answers to some tough questions.

1. Is this a real opportunity for you?
2. What is their disposition to your company?
3. Why would they consider a change?
4. And why would they consider you?

And don’t accept the “polite” answers. Get to the truth, even if it hurts. I’ve done this and been told, “Jill you can’t win. We’re very happy with our current partner. We need an extra bid.” Ouch! But now I know where I stand and I have a choice… Be the extra bid, do my homework to best show my stuff, and start to slowly build a relationship over time. Or walk away.

Remember, buyers don’t intuitively provide all of the information you need to develop a differentiated recommendation. You need to work at retrieving it.

• Focus time and energy on preparing powerful relevant questions that will get both you and the customer the information you need.
• Think like the customer so you are able to give them a valid reason to respond to your tougher questions.
• Be prepared to listen with new ears. Not just to the customer’s words but to the implication behind the words.
• Be prepared to go deeper for meaning and broader into missed territory.

You want to win in golf?
You need a full set of clubs.

You want to win in sales?
You need to work at uncovering the hidden 80%.

Good selling!

I was about to turn on the ignition when I realized, “This is NOT my car!” Worried the owner would appear and mistake me for Angelina Jolie (I wish) in the auto theft action movie “Gone in 60 Seconds,” I scrambled out to find my car parked in the next bay. OK, admittedly the winter coat of dry snow and salt made both cars look that same shade of “blah.” But seriously – who leaves their door unlocked in Toronto?

And who doesn’t recognize their own car? Apparently me.

Good news is I’m not crazy. Nor am I turning to grand theft auto to make my next million. I made this mistake because, in that moment, I had been on “auto pilot.”

It got me thinking. We all shift into auto pilot periodically. Consider your drive to and from work. How many times have you completed the journey without giving the route a single thought?

And it got me thinking about selling. And specifically about a couple of sales teams I worked with earlier this year. Both teams comprised experienced sellers who were well entrenched in their communities, “knew” their customers, and were delivering good sales results. Yet without exception each rep left the training with a new realization – that they had been missing real opportunity to support the success of their customers, and to dramatically enhance their own sales results. They had been on auto pilot for some time – and we had just flipped the switch to manual.

Has your sales approach become stagnant? Are you flying on auto pilot? Check out these few indicators that suggest it’s time for you to switch back to manual…

• Your long term customers are like your best friends. You know what’s right for them without having to ask.
• You hate it when new players join the buying process and disrupt the status quo.
• You’re taken by surprise when you lose a customer to your competitor.
• You consider people rude when they don’t respond to your calls.
• Your customers don’t seem to understand the full value of your offering.
• You don’t have time to prepare for customer meetings until you are in the car.
• Your customers are happy with your work but rarely offer you referrals.
• You learned all about selling from the boss, who learned from his boss…
• You’re less than inspired with your role and looking for a change.

If you relate to any of these it’s time to take hold of the controls. Here’s my quick “Start – Stop – Keep” formula to get you flying high above the competition.

START sharpening your customer IQ and EQ.

Good sellers have strong customer IQ. They know what the customer buys, when they buy, how they buy and, most importantly, why they buy. They understand the customer’s business objectives and they know who is involved in the decision making process.

Extraordinary sellers know that change is the new status quo. And they intentionally use every single customer interaction to deepen and broaden their customer IQ. And they don’t stop there. Top sales pros develop their customer EQ … they listen beyond the facts for what’s important to each decision influencer both professionally and personally. They seek out the customer’s perception on tough issues because they know perception can, and will, affect buying decisions.

And when new players enter the buying process a top seller embraces this opportunity. Her approach is one of curiosity, not judgment. Her goal is to understand why the need for change. And to learn about this new buyer’s priorities so that she can offer support in ways that will contribute to his success. She builds competitive advantage while other sellers fight to retain the status quo.

STOP blaming the customer.

Ever catch yourself thinking, “This prospect’s a waste of time – he never returns calls.” Or “This customer is a fool. We’ve got the best solution for his need. Why did he choose the competition?” Listen to some sales reps and you’d think that most customers are obnoxious morons.

My advice: If you’re pointing the finger of blame at the customer, take a moment to point it back at you – and see what you find.

If customers don’t respond to your calls then it’s one of two things. Your message missed the mark … or you are not a priority to this customer now. Either way, the only person that can fix this is you. Do your homework and find out what’s on this customer’s plate now, and re-craft a series of “customer centric” messages that focus on supporting his priorities, not yours.

Customers aren’t seeing the full value in your presentations? Then get ruthless with your presentation. Are you still packing the same 20-slide PowerPoint deck that painfully takes every customer through a list of irrelevant features, benefits and case-studies about your offering? Relevance sells. Prune your presentation. Focus on what’s relevant. And clearly connect your offering to this customer’s critical priorities.

Disappointed your happiest customers don’t give you more, or better, referrals? Why should they? It takes mental effort and time to do this. You need to do the work, not them. First you need to ask. And at the right time. Second, you need to make it easier for them by providing a clear profile of your target customer so that they can quickly scan their mental data-base and provide you a valuable contact.

I could fill a book with the blame piled on customers by sellers operating on auto pilot. But you get the message …. Watch where you point that finger.

KEEP re-inventing yourself.

The pace of change today is so fast I often feel like I’m hanging on by my finger nails. No matter how good we are today, we must continuously look for ways to build on our success if we want to be good tomorrow.

Regularly review your results against your activity. Leverage those activities that deliver. And dump those that don’t. In 2009 I took one of my training exercises and applied it to my own business. I did an analysis of where my new business was coming from. Over 75% came from referrals or speaking engagements. So in 2010 I put considerably more energy into these two activities. I saw a 37% increase in revenue in 2010. Coincidence?

Watch and learn from other great sellers. While I read a lot of books, articles and blogs on selling and business, some of my most profound learning has come from listening to, or being out on the road, with talented sales pros. Tag along with your top sales pro for a day. Use your sales meetings to share successes – the results and, more importantly, the activities that have led to these results.

Learn from sales pros from other industries. My personal sales capability grew exponentially when I started doing this. If you rely solely on sales techniques that have been handed down through generations of sales managers and trainers within your company or industry, you’re at risk of getting stuck in a rut and mistaking the sides of that rut for the horizon.

Auto pilot is an extremely valuable tool. In airplanes. But if your sales career is on full-time auto pilot, it’s time to take a step back and grab hold of those controls.

Good selling!

As I listen to their various match-making hits and misses my brain intuitively makes comparisons to the selling process. The parallels are noteworthy.

Here are six lessons from the dating scene that will improve your sales results.

Lesson 1: They’re not all marriage material.

A good friend is back on the dating scene for the first time in 16 years. The kids are grown up, she’s afraid of being alone, and she’s looking for the perfect guy. Trouble is, every time she heads out to a first date she expects this one to be Mr. Right. One of two things happens. Either she’s crushed when it doesn’t work out, or she invests way too much time with Mr. Wrong.

See the parallel to selling? If we are expecting to “marry” every sales opportunity we uncover we may be heading for disappointment. Take the time to understand any lead / opportunity. Use your initial call to discover if you are a match and whether it’s a good investment of your time to take things to the next level. Will it lead to a happy and productive long term relationship or are you better served to move on?

Lesson 2: There are two people in this relationship.

You’ve gotta love Jane. She’s turbo-charged when it comes to dating. If she meets a man she likes, she pursues him shamelessly. Her credo: “Why waste time playing it cool when I see something I like?” Hourly text messages, raunchy voice-mails and definitive “together plans” for every night of the week are all integral to her initial dating strategy. And then there’s the stuff I can’t publish in an e-zine.

There’s just one problem. The guys on whom she showers all this attention become less and less responsive, then quietly disappears.

When sellers move at “warp speed” because they perceive a need, or see a hot opportunity, they sometimes neglect to notice that the client is at a different stage of the “buy cycle” and is looking to move at a more relaxed pace. It’s all about perspective. So if you want to attract and hang on to great prospects, you need to align yourself with where they are in their buying process.

Lesson 3: Don’t be a bad date!

Nothing sucks the life out of you more than being with a date that has a bad case of “all about me” syndrome. You know what I mean. He drones on the entire evening about his work, his car, his problems and his interests. It doesn’t matter how fascinating someone is, you eventually tune out when the dialogue becomes a marathon monologue.

On the flip side, we are attracted to “great dates” who demonstrate a genuine interest in who we are, and who focus on what’s most important to us. These conversations lead to love. And lead to everlasting love if we continue them throughout the life span of the relationship.

So if you want to stand apart from others and attract great customers, avoid the trap of delivering the traditional “features and benefits dump.” Don’t be a bore. Be a great date!

Lesson 4: Blind dates are risky.

I vividly remember a blind date I agreed to when I was 18 years old. I assumed, because a friend had referred Clive, that he’d be a match made in heaven. Within 20 minutes of meeting him, he proudly dropped his two front teeth out of his mouth to demonstrate the danger of high speed motor-cycle racing. This was the highlight of the date. Clive was wrong for me in so many ways.

Not every referral is a good one. Do your homework before agreeing to a meeting. Or have a well prepared phone conversation before investing in face time. Most importantly, make sure you provide a clear profile of your target customers when asking for referrals so you don’t get connected to a “Clive.” Remember every mismatched blind date takes time away from a potentially hot one.

Lesson 5: Try out the new technologies.

I know people who are staunch advocates of on-line dating. Others won’t even consider it. The concept intrigues me and, if I were single, I’d definitely give it a whirl. But first I’d take these three important steps:

1. Do my homework to see which technologies meet my criteria and specific needs.
2. Talk to others using the technology to learn how to get the best outcomes.
3. Look for technologies that have proven results.

Web 2.0, social media, Sales 2.0 are now a part of our sales vocabulary. Technology can accelerate, and focus, your networking, lead generation and prospect qualification activities – which ultimately enables you to have more face time with customers. Are all the new technologies right for you? Not necessarily. But you won’t know until you explore them. So keep an open mind and follow my three steps to on-line dating to decide which will provide you the optimal results.

Lesson 6: Know when it’s over.

One of my best buddies dated a slime ball (and I’m being kind) for over two years. The rest of us inwardly rolled our eyes and prayed for the end. She was afraid of being alone or not finding anyone better. She didn’t realize that sticking with this guy guaranteed this.

Do you have a client relationship that has run its course and is no longer productive? Or perhaps it never was productive. Maybe it’s time to cut them loose so that you can focus on pursuing a more profitable and mutually satisfying business relationship. Gutsy sales organizations have “fired” clients that represent bad business, and they have no regrets because they gain more time to focus on better deals.